It’s happened to us all at some stage in our lives – the dreaded break up. Whichever end you’re on, whether you’re the one who has been broken up with, or you’re the one instigating the breakup, it’s never easy. Granted in some cases, where people have been together for only a short while, the process might seem relatively quick and painless. But if you’ve come to rely on each other for a prolonged period of time, the separation is likely going to hit you hard. So how can you make the aftermath easier to deal with? Everyone has their own way of mourning a broken relationship, and no doubt every person you speak to will offer you different advice – whether it’s a night out on the town, or a holiday abroad to help clear your head. But you should be aware that no one practical activity will suit or effectively help everyone. With that in mind, here is some more general advice to keep in mind just after you’ve broken it off with a long-term partner:
Make the Most of Your Friends
It doesn’t help when you’re going through a tough breakup to be alone. So talk to your friends, and spend time with them whenever you can. Don’t be afraid or conscious about divulging your feelings – they’ll understand that you’re hurting right now, and they’re there to listen to you.
Be Honest with Each Other
If you stay in contact with your ex for whatever reason, it’s never healthy to get into psychological games or one-upmanship. Just be truthful with them. If they ask how you’re feeling, don’t paint a false picture for them. Be upfront about it. While it might be satisfying to falsely portray yourself as having the time of your life and being better off without them, you only risk coming across as bitter and immature.
After spending so much time together, you owe it to each other to be honest. If there are any other issues which require attention – such as if you discover you have an STI which you may have transmitted to or acquired from them, tell them. Don’t let your feelings of resentment come between them and seeking treatment.
Make it a Clean Break
When you’ve made the decision to break things off with your partner, don’t let the relationship stagger on in an occasional ‘physical’ sense. It will only complicate matters and make your feelings harder to deal with, especially when you or they begin to see other people. Clean breaks are the healthiest kind.
We’re not saying you should avoid confronting your feelings by diverting your attention onto other things. But having something – whether it’s a sport, a creative outlet like music or art, or even work – can help you to not think about your broken relationship all the time. Whatever you choose to help you take your mind off your break-up, just make sure it’s healthy, and doesn’t have a negative bearing on anyone else.